


take this pen from broken fingers

by taakofromtaz (AmazingSuperiority)



Series: opens my coat and taz falls out [1]
Category: The Adventure Zone (Podcast)
Genre: Fuck Sazed (The Adventure Zone), Other, THIS RELATIONSHIP WAS TOXIC, VAGUE EATING DISORDER, i remember this being fun to write, impulse posting at 6 am!!!, sleeping problems, stay safe
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-14
Updated: 2017-12-14
Packaged: 2019-02-14 17:18:37
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 979
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13012482
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AmazingSuperiority/pseuds/taakofromtaz
Summary: a series of letters from taako to sazed in the aftermath of glamor springs(part 1 of the series of nano fills. prompts by lucretia-the-director)





	take this pen from broken fingers

**Author's Note:**

> i debated posting these in a collection but then i literally got stuck on the second prompt so im gonna post them individually because there's no rules!!!!!! im also sorry if this is hard to read i havent beta'd this and it's literally in a letter format (i can post a grammatically correct version if it bothers anyone!!!)
> 
> prompt 1: Write a love letter

_[Four days after Glamor Springs]_

dear sazed,

im sorry im srory im sorry so sorry im sorry im so so so so so sorry im sorry sorry osrry gods im so sroyy y did u leave y did u go im sorry im so fuckin awful im terrilbe pls come bac im so sorry im s

 

_[One week after Glamor Springs]_

dear sazed,

i can’t tell you i’m sorry enough. i don’t know what happened and i’m so so so sorry. please come back. i miss you. i need you. i get it you felt like you couldn’t stay so you bailed. natch. i get it. but why? why? WHY?

cmon babe come back. please. i need you.

 

_[Two weeks after Glamor Springs]_

sazed,

im sorry it had to happen like this. i know you prolly never wanna see me again but i miss you. i miss being with you. im sorry im such a fuckup. i dont blame you for leaving. gods know ive wanted to run a million times. but i didnt bc i was with you. please come back i miss you i need you i cant do this without you

this guilt is eating me alive and you know i dont care about that kind of shit. please come back. i know i fucked up in a pretty major way but we’re a team right? you and me against this shitty world. thats the way it’s supposed to be babe!!! you know it!! why did you leave m

im sorry.

 

_[One month after Glamor Springs]_

Sazed.

I don’t know where the fuck you are right now and I don’t give a damn but fuck you. fuck you for leaving me when I need you fuck you for not sticking with me and fuck you for everything you’ve ever done to me and haven’t apologized for. I hate you. fuck off and di—

why did you leav_?

 

_[One month and two days after Glamor Springs]_

Babe,

I’m sorry

 

_[Two months after Glamor Springs]_

sazed.

i killed them i actually killed them and i cant believe it took me this long to actually write it down but i did it i killed them theyre dead theyre all dead and its my fault and gods above why couldn’t it have been me you left me anyway did you ever really care????

 

_[Six months after Glamor Springs]_

i’ve been running all this time never staying in one place too long because im so fucking scared theyre gonna catch me and hang me for all those people i killed. i probably deserve it because im a fucking monster and obviously you knew that because you left so godsdamn fast. gods you left so fast!!!

i wish you had stayed. i miss you so much it’s almost unbearable. i hate being alone. i fucking hate it. i cant eat i cant sleep and im scared to talk to people because fuck!!! what if they recognize me!!!!

i went west. i had to get away from there, from that place. i hope you got away too and they didn’t hang you for being an accessory. gods im so sorry you had to see that fucking shitshow. im the worst there ever was and i cant believe you stayed as long as you did

you made the right choice but gods i wish you hadn’t.

 

_[One year after Glamor Springs]_

its been a year and i want to die

 

_[One year and two months after Glamor Springs]_

hey, sazed.

i know i never said it enough bc im a selfish jerk, but_ i___ i really did love you once

im the fucking worst and im sorry you had to deal with me

 

_[Two years after Glamor Springs]_

its getting better. gods its getting better. i cant fucking believe its getting better it shouldnt be getting better i shouldnt be okay with this they still died

still cant sleep still cant eat still feel sick to my fucking stomach on this day but gods at least im alive.

at least im alive

 

_[Two years and ten months after Glamor Springs]_

its been real bad lately. i have nightmares where i see their faces.

how are you doing?

 

_[Three years after Glamor Springs]_

that time again. i bruise easier than before. i knock into something too hard and get a nasty bruise for a week. i grab my wrists sometimes and leave handprints for days

i bruise everywhere. you would be ashamed of me.

i cant eat anymore. not since________ you left. its just a hassle and sometimes i throw it up anyway. im so fucking hungry but im so scared to eat.

i miss you. i miss us.

 

_[Four years after Glamor Springs]_

my magic is trying to kill me. nothing’s turned into nightshade yet but it’s only a matter of time. my magic is fucked up and transmuting shit into other shit fuckin willy nilly and whenever i try to turn it back it gets worse

gods this is awful. maybe its what i deserve. murderers like me shouldnt be allowed to live

i miss you. i miss you so much. i miss us. gods i loved you so much.

 

_[The night after Refuge]_

SAZED.

if I ever find out where you ended up, I will kill you with my bare fucking hands. I cant believe you let me think I killed all those people when it was you being a jealous prick the whole fucking time. I cant. fucking. believe this.

you better count your fucking blessings that I work for fucking respectable organization now or I would dedicate my life to utterly destroying you.

if I ever see you again, I will fucking kill you. I WILL FUCKING. **KILL!** YOU!!!!

if you want to murder someone darling, next time use a fucking sword.

I cant believe I ever loved you.

—Taako~

**Author's Note:**

> comments (anything goes!!!) and kudos are greatly appreciated!!! :3 i hope i can finish all of these (sorry the title is so pretentious LMFAO)
> 
> if anyone's curious, none of these were ever delivered. taako set them all on fire with the umbra staff a week after writing the last letter


End file.
